SELF-HELP DECISION-MAKING TOOL

arema-arega
6 days ago
3 min read

Updated: 16 hours ago

¿What to do when someone, a family member, a friend or yourself needs help to decide under pressure?

I'm a mother and part of my "job" is to find ways to help with the decision-making within my household and sometimes beyond that.

For example:

Mum, a friend asked me to do such and such... but I feel that maybe that's not for me, but I don't want to let him or her down. Do you know what I should do?

Or another one:

I just agreed to do this task or job, but I did it because I felt compelled by my co-workers... And I feel so bad now because I don't really want to do it or deal with it... Please tell me how I can get out of this...?

The list of situations like this is long and all is about stopping ourselves from self-sabotage.

So the first advice will be to breathe. I know it sounds basic and maybe too simple, but yes, it really helps, I know because I have been there...
The second step is to find a way of weighing the balance of what it implies to make that decision.
And then the steps involved in the process that will, in the end, influence the outcome, our actions.

I have developed a method and this post is about that. I hope that you find it useful.

WHAT IS THE SELF-HELP DECISION-MAKING TOOL?

A bilingual (English & Spanish) , 5-step immediate self-auditing framework designed to remove pressure from the decision-making process. An entirely private, mental, and internal guiding tool.

Created first as a Responsive, free to use, Google Sheet for myself, friends and family, it Includes questions and feedback that work as an invisible guide throughout the 5 stages of the decision-making process, where the user is the only one in charge of deciding its outcome.

Created by me, Arema Arega.

What is its PURPOSE?

The SELF-HELP DECISION-MAKING TOOL assists you to regain clarity and coherence in moments of pressure, doubt, or emotional conflict.

When is the best moment to use it?

That critical moment when pressure doesn’t allow you to think clearly, and you feel that you might be about to betray your authentic self to:

please others
protect your ego
or avoid discomfort

when you are about to say “yes” instead of “no” , but using this tool could prevent you to do this self-sabotage.

*You could also recommend it to others in the same situation.

Do I need to share any of my personal information, data or thoughts to use the tool?

NO, you will NOT

Write answers
Share personal data
Expose your thoughts or reasoning

This process is entirely private, mental, and internal.

How does this work then?

It's quite simple really, just:

Focus on the decision you are unsure about.
Answer mentally (only to yourself *) the guiding questions in the Internal and External Motivation columns.
Select whether your impulse comes from INTERNAL or EXTERNAL motivation.
Read the feedback that appears in each of the 5 steps.
Repeat for all phases.

*Only to yourself: In the case you can't answer the guiding questions mentally, because you need to write down your answers feel free to do it on a piece of paper or on your digital notes, so it keeps completely private, because the idea of the tool is to create a save space to be with yourself, without sharing your thoughts with anybody.

The questions and feedback for the 5 stages work as an invisible guide throught the whole process, but you are the one deciding.